Dating experts great idea top news.

Plans to reopen the biggest opencast coalfield in western Europe will be discussed at a public inquiry next month. The inquiry will dating advices favour links if proposals to restart coal mining at Ffos-Y-Fran in Merthyr Tydfil should go ahead. The 12-day Welsh assembly inquiry will open on 7 September into the plans by Miller Argent. If the scheme is approved, more than 10 million tonnes of coal will be extracted from the area over 15 years. The coal is expected to be sold to nearby Aberthaw Power Station, and the dating dating free free online tip have promised to pay more than 6m in royalties to the local council to be spent on public schemes. However, local people have voiced strong objections to the plans. Fears about the effect on health, the devaluation of houses and the impact it will have on inward investment to the town have been raised by people opposed to the scheme. A 1,000-signature petition was 5fm dating advices by members of the Merthyr Tydfil Anti-Opencast Alliance against the plans. But the scheme has had the backing of the Transport and General Workers Union, which says that vital jobs will be brought to the area if the plans are approved. They say that 200 jobs will be created as a direct result of the scheme, with a further 400 contractor jobs being made. The public inquiry will open on 7 September at the Bessemer Club, High Street, Dowlais at 1000BST. Originaly from: News - Opencast mine inquiry date set page

A County Down firm has been criticised over an advertisement for its text dating service which could encourage teenagers to make dates with strangers.

The poster, by Bangor-based Textandmeet Ltd, promised: “You could be meeting someone tonight.” The words, “over 18s only” were featured in the small print.

The Advertising Standards Authority said it was possibly “irresponsible”.

It was “concerned” the poster could imply it was “acceptable for young people to make dates with strangers”.

It was spotted by a member of the public near a local swimming pool, cinema and a fast food restaurant.

Upholding the online dating advices stories, the dating safety tip watchdog ruled that the poster could contain a more sinister message

It ruled: “The Authority concluded the poster was likely to be seen to condone or encourage irresponsible behaviour and told the dating advices game naruto not to use the approach again.”

The posters depicted a bikini-clad woman sitting by a swimming pool with a mobile phone while three men looked on. All posters have now been removed.

Nicknames

Textandmeet said users communicated with each other using nicknames and did not exchange numbers.

It said all messages between users were personals online dating advices by an employee who removed contact details before the user’s age was verified.

Safety tips were sent and messages could be blocked, it added.

Textandmeet claimed users who wished to meet were referred to another service which verified their ages.

Original article News - Text date advert ‘irresponsible’

Read more on News - Japanese women site From behind the normally silent walls of the Imperial Palace, came a noise that the Japanese had never heard before. It was a cry from the Crown princess, and she was not happy. OK not literally. But the message emerged - and it hasn’t been contradicted - that she was frustrated, depressed even. Here was a modern woman trapped by unrealistic expectations dating from a bygone era. More striking still is that in Japan, she appears not to be alone. Women are growing increasingly restive, no longer prepared to tolerate the submissive role that tradition dictates. They are rejecting duty and motherhood in their millions; the birth-rate is plummeting and the masters, the men, don’t know what to do. Jonathan Head reported. Watch the report JONATHAN HEAD: Junko Tameda is taking her first steps in flamenco. Like most of the other students here, she is a professional in her 30s, and she’s single. There is a boom in Latin dance as women seek an escape from the stifling formality of everyday life. Japan is going through a social revolution, driven by women like Junko, who are turning their backs on marriage and stamping out their own lives, free of the burden of motherhood. At the age of 32, Junko still lives with her parents. So many unmarried men and women are doing this in Japan, they have coined the term “parasite single” to describe them. Junko doesn’t see herself as a parasite, though - just a young woman choosing to spend her time and money on the finer things in life. Over lunch, the family discuss her most recent holiday in New York. She loves travelling. JUNKO TAMEDA: [TRANSLATION] I have worked hard to build up my freelance business as a graphic designer. I see myself as a success, so why should I be dissatisfied? I never had a strong desire to be married in my 20s, and I feel exactly the same way now. HEAD: Junko’s parents once dreamed of a wedding and a handsome husband. Now they seem resigned to having their eldest child living with them indefinitely. SHIGEKO TAMEDA: [TRANSLATION] I was very young when I got married, because that’s what women were expected to do back then. My parents were conservative and they wanted to see me married by a certain age. That was my upbringing, but Junko has chosen to focus on her career and I can see it gives her great fulfilment. KIYOSHI TAMEDA: [TRANSLATION] Marriage is a natural thing, in my view. If she meets someone suitable, she may still get married. If she finds a boyfriend, and perhaps six months or a year later it works out, well of course I will be happy. HEAD: There has been no shortage of interest from men, but Junko says none was prepared to allow her the freedoms she now enjoys. It’s been three years since her last relationship. JUNKO TAMEDA: [TRANSLATION] Dating a man was fun, but when I was really keen on this one guy, and we thought about marriage, he started trying to restrict me from doing all the things I love doing. Eventually, I turned him down, and I am sure I made the right decision. HEAD: What’s wrong with Japanese men? Why is it so hard to find a good partner? JUNKO TAMEDA: [TRANSLATION] Women these days are doing far more men’s work, that men don’t want to do anything that’s dating advices favour links considered a woman’s role. That’s why we find it so hard to relate to each other. I can’t accept that man expects a woman to make housework a priority over her career. HEAD: It’s Sunday afternoon and Hiroe Shibata is snatching a few precious hours of relaxation in the fashionable neighbourhood where she lives, Tokyo’s equivalent of Notting Hill. Hiroe’s life is a hectic one. She is a marketing manager for a multinational drugs company and she is doing a chat dating advices free site MBA. She too is in her 30s and single. In Japan, unmarried, childless women like her have been called “loser dogs”. She lives on her own in a tiny two-room apartment with no space even for a sofa. Her way of life is now the subject of intensive research by Japanese academics and advertisers trying to understand the lucrative single women’s market. She sees herself as a winner, not a loser. HIROE SHIBATA: I don’t think we are losers. We win the career. I have a career and I study for myself and that’s going to help my future, so I don’t think I am going to be a loser. HEAD: Does it make you angry when you hear that? SHIBATA: Not angry, but people think different ways. It’s a different kind of thinking. They think having a baby or getting married is a lifetime goal, but it’s not my goal. It may be a new kind of thinking but I don’t want to be tied up in the kind of traditionals. I want to be what I want to be. If it’s not necessary, I don’t want to get married. HEAD: The old spirit of self-sacrifice, which kept their mothers at home, has gone, replaced by a hunger for self-satisfaction. The free-spending habits of single women now support a huge market for luxury goods. Brands like Prada and Louis Vuitton run more shops here than in any other country. There are also more dogs today in Japan than children. This one is called Bebe. There is no longer any shame in living without a husband or children. Japan’s birth rate has now fallen to one of the lowest in the world. Its population is ageing and shrinking. KEIKO AOKI: [TRANSLATION] When I talk to this dog, I feel like I am the mother of Bebe. When I go out, I always ask, “Do you want to come with mum?” This is my child. I think the number of women who want to have a child, but not a husband, has increased. A dog is a substitute for a child. HEAD: The estrangement of men and women is the subject of endless humour on the morning TV chat shows. Here a frustrated wife despairs of her worthless husband. For half a century, Japan built the world’s most successful industrial society on the back of a relentless work ethic which rigidly separated the roles of men and women. Women were tied to looking after the home and children. But the Japanese salaryman was expected to devote every waking hour to his company, even if that meant being a stranger to his own family. It’s a formula which is now being rejected by younger women in their millions, leaving the more traditionally minded men bewildered and confused. In desperation, these young men have formed a group calling themselves The Cherry Boys. A throwback to a bygone age of chivalry, they have taken a vow of chastity until they find the woman of their dreams. They are seeking solace in the romantic plot of the Puccini opera Manon Lescaut. SHINKICHI WATANABE: [TRANSLATION] Women are much more forward these days. There was a time when they used to walk one step behind men. That still happened when my parents were young, but now they are racing ahead and we can’t keep up with them. HEAD: Why is it so difficult for guys like you to meet suitable women today in Japan? KOICHIRO HIROTA: [TRANSLATION] It’s difficult. I often wonder about that myself. Perhaps I am a bit distanced from women. TOMOYA KUMAGAI: [TRANSLATION] We can survive even if we don’t have girlfriends. There are a lot of alternatives available now, like the internet. In the old days, people made a real effort for love. But love just isn’t special any more. HEAD: There is a very different ideal of a woman which still has a pervasive hold on the mind of Japanese men. Ichimiyo is a maiko, a trainee geisha, one of a few hundred who still work in the city of Kyoto. Today she is joined by Sumie, who has come to watch her prepare for an evening serving and entertaining men. The two 16-year-olds swap make-up tips. As trainees, they live away from their families and receive only their board and lodging. A professional dresser arrives to help complete Ichimiyo’s transformation from giggling teenager to an ornamented male fantasy. In five years, she will be able to charge powerful clients thousands of pounds for just a few hours in the world of old-style deference the geishas offer. Their own view of their profession, though, is surprisingly hard-headed. ICHIMIYO, MAIKO: [TRANSLATION] When I told my friends out of the blue that I was going to become a maiko, they said, “What are you talking about? Are you crazy?” SUMIE, TRAINEE GEISHA: [TRANSLATION] At first, my friend, my parents and my teachers were against it, but now they are all behind me. ICHIMIYO: [TRANSLATION] Our job is not just to say “yes, yes, yes”. That’s boring. Our job is to make the customers feel comfortable. I think the image of us as submissive is a wrong one. HEAD: Marriage seems to be going out of fashion here in Japan. Is that true of other girls your age? ICHIMIYO: [TRANSLATION] I don’t know why. Do you know? SUMIE: [TRANSLATION] People just want to do their own thing these days. ICHIMIYO: [TRANSLATION] I think maybe women are stronger now. HEAD: Geishas for many men still embody perfect feminine qualities of grace and compliance. No wonder so many male politicians then can’t work out why modern women are rejecting marriage. The government has several action plans promoting childcare, paternity leave and shorter working hours, but they are not taken seriously by a public which has heard a former prime minister tell women to stay at home and breed. HIROKO MIZUSHIMA MP DEMOCRATIC PARTY: They still think that if mothers stay home, they can make more babies. I think actually they are not so interested in this issue. Well, suddenly they are shocked by the birth rate, and they think Japanese people will diminish or disappear, and suddenly they get panicked, but usually they are not interested in those things. HEAD: That view is shared by millions of Japanese. On this issue, the government has a serious credibility problem. TAKUMI NEMOTO MP COUNCIL FOR BIRTHRATE DECLINE: [TRANSLATION] We know the declining birth rate is very serious. I have been working on it for ten years, so it’s a pity if people dating safety tip what the government is trying to do. I think our policies have got better over the years, but it’s important that we present them more clearly to the public. HEAD: The toughest challenge will be changing Japan’s working culture. These men have given years of loyal service to their companies. Now they are trying to make the difficult adjustment from office to home. Recently retired salarymen are called “fallen wet leaves” by their wives because they are so useless at home. Divorce rates are rising faster in this age group than any other. TOSHIMITSU HONDA: [TRANSLATION] You see, if you only say, “Dinner, bath and bed” after you come home from work, your wife will run away from you. HEAD: Is your wife very pleased that you are learning to cook? NOBORU MOCHIZUKI: Yes, and she respects me because she thinks independence is important for the future life. HEAD: The yawning gulf that exists between modern Japanese women and old-fashioned male values is being mirrored by an extraordinary drama being played out here at the Imperial Palace. Behind these long distance dating tip walls, an independent-minded Crown Princess is battling against the Royal household’s very traditional expectations of her as a woman. She was married into the Royal Family to produce an heir, and she has. The trouble is only men can occupy this antiquated throne and Princess Masako has been under intense pressure from the Palace to have a son. The Oxford and Harvard-educated diplomat is said to be isolated and suffering from depression. The government has now been forced to think the unthinkable - the possibility of allowing a woman to succeed the throne. Japan’s women are better educated than they have ever been. They want more from a society that’s one of the wealthiest in the world. They want fun, they want freedom, and they want to avoid the kinds of marriages their mothers had. No room for marriage right now? SHIBATA: No. HEAD: Or children? SHIBATA: No. HEAD: Traditions are being challenged here like never before. Women are leading the way, and waiting for the men to catch up. WATANABE: [TRANSLATION] I live on my own, so I have learned how to cook. I like cleaning my home. It may sound a bit arrogant, but I think I would make a good husband! HEAD: Unless there’s a meeting of minds between Japanese women and men over how they live and bring up a family together, the population will age, and it will fall. Japan’s hard-won economic achievements could also be lost. This transcript was produced from the teletext subtitles that are generated live for Newsnight. It has been checked against the programme as broadcast, however Newsnight can accept no responsibility for any factual inaccuracies. We will be happy to correct serious errors.

Original article ‘News - N American Muslims debate role in society‘ It was billed as the biggest gathering of Muslims in North America, and tens of thousands of delegates turned up to the three-day event, which was held over the weekend near Chicago. “It’s been opportunity for us to fulfil some of our aspirations as Muslims and learn some new things that are going on with our religion,” said Abdul Fatai Adisa, a delegate from Merrillville, Indiana. Many of the sessions touched on issues related to women in Islam and in American society. On the eve of the convention, Ingrid Mattson, a Canadian convert to Islam, was elected as Isna’s new president, making her the first woman to hold the role. “The election has huge symbolic importance,” said Edina Lekovic, a delegate based in Los Angeles with the Muslim Public Affairs Council. “It opens doors for communities who would otherwise not consider having women in leadership positions and I think it sends an important message to those more american singles dating advices site elements within the American Muslim community. “It’s a signal to the establishment.” Focus on the media On the first day of the convention, Ms Mattson held a news conference in which she criticised President George W Bush’s use of the term “Islamic fascism” when describing the enemy in the “war on terror”. We don’t value the idea of communicating properly Firas Ahmad Islamica magazine “This is a term that had very bad resonance in the Muslim majority world and makes us feel uncomfortable,” she said. “We’re hoping there can be some adjustment to this language.” It was not just the politicians who came under scrutiny. The criticism of the way in which Muslims are portrayed in the American media was also an important theme at the convention. “Media Islam is the result of a one-sided understanding of Islam that is represented to us in a solitary, cliched and vicious way,” said former Iranian President Mohammed Khatami in a keynote speech. And some delegates agreed. “I think the media portrayal of the crises around the world, many of which are dominated by Muslims, usually tends to accentuate the negative,” said Dr Hesham Hassaballa, a Chicago-based columnist and author. “If it bleeds, it leads. And so, a Muslim woman holding a candle praying for peace is not as newsworthy as a Muslim driving a truck bomb into a building.” ‘Sheer curiosity’ Dr Hassaballa also said that as the five-year anniversary of the 11 September attacks approached, Muslims in the US had to grapple more than ever with campaigns of chat dating advices free site against them. “There are websites and pundits and personals online dating advices which disseminate misinformation about Islam, and they’re becoming very dating tip for teenage girl and very savvy and they give an air of credibility that they don’t deserve,” he said. Khatami’s visit has upset Jewish groups and some lawmakers But Firas Ahmad, senior editor with the Islamic magazine, Islamica, said the Muslim community also needed do better at selling itself to the US public. “We don’t value the idea of communicating properly,” he said. “We have stories to tell that can connect with mainstream Americans. If they knew them, we’d become a little more human instead of the dehumanising effect of terrorism. “We need to tell our story in a way that is compelling and only when we do that will these perceptions of the Muslim communities be diminished and a more accurate portrayal be available.” But not everyone was downbeat. Ann Siddique from Albany, New York, had a more optimistic take on things. The 25-year-old converted to Islam a few years ago after becoming interested in the religion. “The main things I get from non-Muslim people are questions,” she said. “Just sheer curiosity, and so it’s fortunate that a lot of people want to learn and are willing to ask questions - and seek the truth.”

Original article News - Tips to get online dates If there’s one thing that Mary Balfour knows about, it’s finding Mr or Ms Right. The love guru runs two dating agencies, two internet dating websites and has penned a self-help guide for singles seeking that special someone. Her top tip to getting a date is to sell yourself, rather than sit back and hope that the perfect person will stumble onto you. The first step is write an eye-catching personal ad. Whether it be an online dating dating tip, agency profile or personal ad, the rules are the same - avoid clichs, be positive and creative. Ms Balfour says personal ads can be a minefield for the uninitiated, so learn to decode the euphemisms used by fellow singles. “Fun-loving” typically means up for frolics between the sheets; while “young-looking” means well over your preferred age range, and “young at heart” is likely to indicate someone eligible for a pension. She recommends that women never put their age in ads. “Men can be very ageist, particularly against women in the 37 to 45 group. Much better to put the age of men you’re looking for, and they’ll assume you’re right for them. They’re much more dating tip for teenage girl on paper than in the flesh.” Survival of the fittest With one in five Britons now using dating aids to meet people, according to a report by Telecom Express, first impressions count more than ever. Ms Balfour says there’s no bigger turn-off than being negative. Remember it could be your first exposure to your future partner Mary Balfour “Don’t say ‘I don’t want to meet someone who’s tight with money.’ Far better to say ‘I’d like to meet someone generous.’ And don’t write a CV, try to inject some feelings into it. Remember, [your ad] could be your first exposure to your future partner.” And people like to see what they’re getting - ads with photos tend to get more page views than those which rely on words alone to paint a picture. Think you look more like a frog than a prince or princess? Not to worry, profiles which are most appealing are those in which the subject is smiling. And for women, Ms Balfour recommends wearing more make-up than usual for their close-up to avoid a “bleached out look”. Try me - and me So what to do once this appealing “shop window” has sparked interest and a real-life date - or dates - is on the cards? Keep it light Ms Balfour says keep the date short and sweet - stick to chat dating advices free site topics, particularly steering clear of past relationships. And remember, profiles can be american singles dating advices site so don’t be too disappointed if Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome turns out to be none of the above. Just chalk it up to experience. Ms Balfour calls it domino dating. “To increase your dating success rate, you must inevitably increase your failure rate,” she says. In other words, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Smart Dating by Mary Balfour is published by Harper Collins.

42nd over - WICKET: Sidebottom run out (De Smith) 15, Eng 195-9
Edwards serves up a full-bunger and Sidebottom flays him through the covers for four. Not particularly ruthless this from the Windies, England should have been snuffed out by now…but Sidebottom is out, Devon Smith, fielding in the covers, producing a direct hit. This is pretty gruesome viewing. Pearling stroke from Broad, getting up on tip-toes and cracking Edwards through point for four, and the Leicestershire seamer is dropped by Bravo at point next ball. Tough chance, but he’lll be disappointed not to have taken it. One run for the shot, Anderson survives the over.

41st over - Eng 191-8 Powell it is to bowl the 41st over, not Edwards, as expected. Sidebottom picks up five for a mis-timed pull that ends up at extra-cover, Morton flinging the ball for five over-throws. Not clever. Four more for England, Powell trying Sidebottom out with some short stuff and the Notts seamer swinging him away to the mid-wicket fence. England require 88 from 54 deliveries.

1842: The stumps are back in and out stroll the umpires, closely followed by the Windies fielders and Sidebottom and Broad.

“My advice to Tom Burgess in Bristol regarding blagging his interview on Friday would be not to reveal to the nation that you are about to go for a job that you know nothing about.”
Matt Bancroft in the TMS inbox

1837: Whoaaa, hold your horses! The covers are coming off, and we’re going to come out for the last rites of England’s innings. Can’t wait…

“Ade O’Connor is right, there is a certain apathy toward the one-day game at international level. Too many variants and too much of it is perhaps the reason. We might also improve by picking our best players who have shown they can handle international cricket rather than these untried so- called ’specialists’.”
B Burge, Athens, in the TMS inbox

41st over - Eng 180-8 The umpires are bringing the players off - it looks pretty nasty up at Edgbaston now. Saying that, as the players leave the pitch, the rain eases up, although the covers are going. Play is not actually over for the day, but the fans reckon it may as well be - they’re all off. Can’t see any more play this evening…

40th over - WICKET: Mascarenhas c Powell b Rampaul 3, Eng 179-8 This is all getting a little depressing, someone put on some Leonard Cohen. That’s Mascarenhas gone, mis-timing a pull to Powell at mid-on, and the England fans make for the exits as the rain comes down. Rampaul now has 4-40, Sidebottom is the new man at the crease. The umpires are having a chat, that rain must be getting heavier. Sidebottom of Notts is off the mark with a dab through point for one.

“I’m still in the office and still with you. I’m preparing for an interview on Friday, any suggestions on how to blag your way through something you know nothing about to four experts?”
Tom Burgess, Bristol, in the TMS inbox

39th over - Eng 179-7The Windies are doing a number on England here, but that’s a mis-field from Rampaul at long-off and Mascarenhas runs one. Decent shot from Broad, paddling Bravo to square-leg for a single. One more for Dimi before Broad almost perishes, chipping a drive into a gap in the covers.

“At the risk of discussing the cricket, I’m not sure England will ever be any good at one-day cricket, the problem being, nobody really takes that much notice. Hand on heart, who cares about the one-dayers as much as the Tests?”
Ade O’Connor in the TMS inbox

38th over - WICKET: Shah c Ramdin b Rampaul 45, Eng 172-7
That, ladies and gents, would appear to be that, Shah going for an ugly smear over mid-wicket and feathering a Rampaul to Ramdin behind the sticks. I’ve just seen a replay of the Yardy innings and a ballboy, looking to clean up if Smith had dropped the catch, stacks it over a speaker behind the rope. Someone’s draped a towel round now, poor mite. Broad is off the mark with a single, and Mascar follows suit.

“Re your molar, I see the voodoo doll is working then!”
Sarah, Canterbury, in the TMS inbox

37th over - WICKET: Yardy c Dw Smith b Bravo 19, Eng 171-6
Bravo strays down leg-side and that’s four leg-byes. Not the most exciting cricketer, Yardy, he is to the England team what Bill Wyman was to the Rolling Stones, and that’s him gone, shovelling Bravo down Dwayne Smith’s neck on the deep square-leg boundary. Mascarenhas is the new batsman, and if he bats anything like he bowled today, England may still have a chance.

36th over - Eng 167-5 Your emails, as is usually the case post-6pm, have tailed off dramatically. Shah flicks Rampaul to leg for one before Yardy brings up the fifty partnership - that came from 61 balls, although it seemed a lot slower. Just two from the over.

35th over - Eng 165-5 Yardy moves to 16 with a push into the covers before Shah clips Powell to square-leg for a single. It’s brightened up again, as Yardy yanks Bravo through mid-wicket for a couple. Shah drops Bravo to point for a single, but England need some humpty, and they need it now.

34th over - Eng 157-5 Nice square-drive from Yardy, but Sammy limits him to just one run. Shah works Edwards off his pads for a single before Edwards digs in a short one which strikes Yardy under the armpit. Edwards tries some more short stuff and Yardy cuts him away for a couple, Rampaul making a fine stop on the boundary. And another bumper, which umpire Llong calls a wide. Bit harsh, that looked like a legitimate delivery to me. Another squall at Edgbaston, it’s all looking a bit grim up there.

33rd over - Eng 153-5 Shot of the day from Shah, whip-cracking Smith through the covers for four and giving himself a pat on the bat with an extravagant best free dating advices site. And the rain sweeps in as Shah swivels and shellacks Smith over the third-man fence for six. Four more for the Middlesex man, tickling Smith to long-leg, and that’s given England some hope. Boos ring out as the players appear to be leaving the field, but they’ve been sold a dummy - it’s actually drinks.

“Edwards is not blowing his fingers, he’s hiding behind his hand in the ‘you can’t see me’ fashion of John Cena! I only know this because I am an avid fan of both WWE and cricke., I wonder what would happen if they were combined?”
Mark, Herts, in the TMS inbox

32nd over - Eng 137-5 A single apiece for Shah and Yardy and England are like a scuttled ship just waiting to be dynamited. Shah could have been toast there, Gayle somehow contriving to miss the stumps from about three feet away. Gayle has a chuckle, that shouldn’t prove too costly.

31st over - Eng 134-5 One for Yardy with a push into the covers before Shah picks up three with a rather ugly swipe across the line. Two more to Yardy with a whip through square-leg and Peter Moores looks like a man awaiting open heart surgery up on the England balcony. Welcome to the real world, coach.

30th over - Eng 128-5 Yardy still struggling to get off the strike, and he’s nearly run out attempting a suicidal run, before thinking better of it. Yardy of Sussex picks up a couple with a steer into the covers, but that’s the only run of the over and West Indies are tightening the noose.

29th over - Eng 127-5 The run-rate is now above seven-an-over as Yardy can only pick up one to point from a tight Smith over. This is getting a little painful to watch, Yardy really struggling to get the ball off the square or find the gaps.

“To Simon - upon reflection, that might seem a little steep! I would like to dispel the image of me I may have inadvertently created and reassure you that I am neither a porker, nor an expensive date!”
Sarah, Canterbury, in the TMS inbox

28th over - Eng 125-5 Nice stroke from Yardy, flaying Bravo through backward-point for four. Big chance for Yardy to prove he can be a big man here.

27th over - Eng 120-5 A colleague has just told me that Edwards’ finger-blowing celebration is a tribute to WWF legend John Cena. Nope, I’ve got no idea what he’s talking about either. Shah mis-times a pull for a couple and he picks up a single into the leg-side.

“If you went ‘Up West’ from Edgbaston, you’d probably hit the Hagley Road. And you don’t want to know what fifty quid will get you there…”
Aidan, Brum, in the TMS inbox

26th over - WICKET: Collingwood lbw b Edwards 1, Eng 116-5
Shah nibbles Edwards into the leg-side for one before Colly gets some chin music, which he doesn’t deal with particularly well, yanking his head away and waving his bat above his head. And that’s the classic fast bowler’s dismissal, softening Colly up with the short one before trapping him in front with a ball of full length. England tottering, Yardy the new man in the middle.

“Good Grief Sarah, Canterbury, how much do you eat?! Or do you dine exclusively upon foie gras and Champagne?!”
Simon, East Sussex, in the TMS inbox

25th over - WICKET: Prior c Dev Smith b Powell 52, Eng 113-4
Prior fiddles Powell down to third-man for a couple, but he’s gone next ball, dollying Powell straight to Devon Smith at short mid-wicket. Huge blow for England, Windies on top. England need a skipper’s innings from Collingwood…Sharp fielding from Edwards, but Shah just beats his direct hit.

24th over - Eng 111-3 Prior moves to his first fifty in ODIs with a push off his hip for a couple. Good, responsible knock from Prior and I’ve just had a shooting pain in one of my molars. Tremendous news. Edwards gets Prior hopping about with his final ball of the over, and the little paceman is regularly touching 90mph now.

“The Mojos they used to sell at my school tuck shop were never that big. Is that the reason kids are so obese these days?”
David ‘First Attempt’ Evans, Bournemouth, in the TMS inbox

23rd over - Eng 109-3 Good save by Powell at short fine-leg stops Shah from scoring, but the Middlesex man does pick up a single with a clip to leg. Prior steals the strike with a whip to mid-wicket - slack fielding from Morton, over-running the ball, and giving up three runs whe there should have only been two.

22nd over - Eng 104-3 A welcome boundary from Prior, Edwards over-pitching on his legs and the England keeper whipping him through mid-wicket for four - that’s England’s ton. One more for Prior with a dab to third-man and he’s now on 45. Sarah (see below) - it would down Nando’s, you cheeky mare.

“You cheapskate! Are we only worth 50 - that wouldn’t buy lunch!”
Sarah, Canterbury, in the TMS inbox

21st over - Eng 99-3 A risky single from Prior and Shah would have been gone had the shy from point hit. Two runs for Shah, steering Smith to third-man.

20th over - Eng 95-3 That smarts - Shah slaps the ball straight back at Bravo and the bowler wears it on the ankle. A couple for Shah with a push to long-off. Bravo tries out a slower ball and Prior steers him through backward point for a single to keep the strike. This is all very sedate at the moment, England could do with the odd bit of long handle.

“We have ice baths now, Aggers, they make you shrivel up a little bit…”
Dominic Cork on TMS

19th over - Eng 92-3 A single apiece from Prior and Shah before the Sussex keeper clips Smith to mid-wicket for a couple. Prior is very nearly cleaned up by Smith by a ball that nips back off the seam and Ramdin misses a tricky stumping chance.

18th over - Eng 86-3 Shah reaches for a widish Edwards delivery and is beaten. I feel I need to apologise to the two Sarahs - you are both valued members of this site and I’m sorry for being unkind. I had a particularly big weekend and I’m still a little bit depressed. If you were here, I’d give you both fifty quid and send you Up West to get yourself something nice…Shah nurdles Edwards to leg for a couple.

“With the weather being as it is, the good news for you is that Vaidisova v Ivanovic is set to be a long drawn out affair…”
Mark in the TMS inbox

17th over - Eng 82-3 Not much more than military medium, Dwayne Smith, and Shah waits on one and dabs him down to third-man for one. Prior drops one into the ground and the batsmen scamper one. England require 197 to win.

16th over - Eng 78-3 That’s a jaffa of a delivery from the feisty Edwards and it grazes Shah’s right biceps. An appeal from Edwards and Ramdin, but umpire Llong decides, quite rightly, that it was not out. A single for Shah with a nurdle to mid-on as another beachball bites the dust. That’s wild from Edwards and the ball balloons over Prior’s head and races away for five wides. A wry smile from Edwards, his dander is up.

“Oh Ben, I’m deeply wounded by that malicious barb! OK, I concede defeat. I am a failure! I’m off to stick my head in the oven. It’s been lovely knowing you, sniff…”
Sarah, Canterbury, in the TMS inbox

15th over - Eng 72-3 Players are back out after the rain delay and we’re ready to go. Dwayne Smith is going to have a go with his afro dating advices and Prior steers him through point for one. Shah nurdles Smith to mid-wicket for a single and it’s extremely gusty at Edgbaston. Boos and hisses from the crowd - the Fun Taliban are in town and one of them has popped a beachball. Dangerous things, beachballs.

1634: We should have play in a few minutes. Sarah Bucks and Sarah Canterbury have sent a few emails in today, but I think they’re a bit out of nick to be honest and I’m giving them a rest. Groans across the country as Sharapova bites the dust, although KP has, as Steve Lowther of Manchester’s picture shows, found his mojo. Malcolm Ashton on TMS assures us we haven’t lost any overs.

1627: They’re now basking in sun up at Edgbaston and the hope is that no play will be lost. I’ll keep you posted as to when play is going to restart.

“Dirsy, you haven’t published any emails from either Sarah in Canterbury or Bucks today. You had a falling out?”
Dan Jay in the TMS inbox

1616: The covers are coming off and we will have a restart in the not too distant future…there is tennis at Wimbledon, Shara is being beaten by Venus, and Tommy Fordyce is telling us all about it on this site. Personally, there’s only one game I care about at SW19 this year - Vaidisova v Ivanovic. Aaaaaah, Bisto…

“Is it me, or has Pieterson lost his mojo? Since his double century he has been rubbish.”
Chris Markham-Lee in the TMS inbox

“Gareth and Valda - I salute you both! Me is off to the local deli and purchasing said items. Chris - she had just phoned and wondered how many beers she should bring over - she’s a keeper in my book now! The plot thickens…”
Rob, Oslo, in the TMS inbox

14th over - Eng 68-3 Edwards is now into the attack and he’s looked pretty good during his time in England - rapid and with a bit of dog. Prior nicks a single with a push into the covers. Shah picks up his first run with a tuck into the leg-side and the groundstaff gather like vultures along the boundary rope as rain sweeps across the ground. Bumper from Edwards and Prior sways out of line. Prior does pick up one with a steer to backward-point but that’s that for now, the players are coming off as I listen to Tony Cozier singing his version of Rihanna’s smash hit Umbrella. Warwickshire’s Ashley Giles, who knows this area pretty well, reckons they won’t be off for long.

13th over - WICKET: Pietersen b Rampaul 9, Eng 64-3
Two singles for Prior and one for KP before the latter laces Rampaul through the covers for four. But that’s Pietersen out, Rampaul angling one into his pads and KP playing all round it. England in a spot of bother, they need a classic knock from someone.

“Andrew Royal - I’m no expert, but last time I checked butter was a dairy product, not sure the vegans like butter that much. Also, I suggested risotto about 20 minutes ago Dirs, what’s so special about Mr Royal?”
Gareth ‘Always Writing, Never Published’ Evans, in the TMS inbox

12th over - Eng 58-2 Powell attempts some chin music, but the ball arches down leg side and that’s a wide. Powell has the temerity to stroll down the pitch and give KP the stare. KP ignores him and does a bit of gardening. KP slashes Powell down to third-man for a single before Prior advances down the pitch and slaps Powell over his head…for two, the ball plopping into the outfield just short of the rope and sticking like a lob wedge in golf - in fact, it almost had back-spin on it. Prior keeps the strike with a clip to mid-wicket and England are still well-placed.

11th over - Eng 53-2 KP picks up a single and Prior nicks one of his own, Pietersen very alert at the non-striker’s end. Classic cover-drive from Prior and Scooby Doo likes that one in the stands, waving his little ‘4′ card like a ruddy idiot.

“Re: Rob in Oslo - go for a mushroom risotto. Fry half a dozen finely chopped shallots in a dessert spoon of butter until soft, add a handful of soaked porcini mushrooms and a mug of arborio rice and fry for another two minutes. Add a glass of oaked Chardonnay and then gradually add vegetable stock a ladel at a time until the rice is soft (30-40 mins). Garnish with fresh parsley.”
Andrew Royal in the TMS inbox

10th over - Eng 46-2 Plenty of chirp out in the middle at Edgbaston, Pietersen exchanging barbs with Ramdin behind the stumps. The sun is out in Birmingham, and we’ve been in extremely lucky with the weather so far. That’s a maiden from Powell and Prior is struggling to keep the scoreboard ticking over at the moment, his timing not quite there.

9th over - Eng 46-2 Doozy of an on-drive from Prior, the ball racing away for four more, and he picks up another couple with a clip to mid-wicket. This is very evenly-poised, but another wicket in the next four or five overs and England could be in trouble.

“Ben, I know what smurfs are, I was just unclear what bearing they had on the progress of England’s run-chase. If my mates read this and think I don’t know what a smurf is, they’ll think I’m a right chump (the female form of which is, of course, chumpette).”
Gregory Ayre in the TMS inbox

8th over - Eng 40-2 That’s Prior’s first boundary of the innings, a spiralling six over mid-wicket. The Sussex gloveman picks up another with a push to point. KP gets off the dreaded duck with a push into the covers and a run and Prior nicks the strike with a punch into the off-side.

“Shocked at the bunch of neanderthals commenting on dancing as ‘uncool’. Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Elvis Presley, Sammy Davis Jr, even (in the eighties) Michael Jackson. These were the coolest men of their respective eras! And what do they all have in common? Dancin’ Shoes…”
Alex Chase in the TMS inbox

7th over - WICKET: Bell lbw b Rampaul 2, Eng 30-2
One for Prior with a mis-timed drive to mid-wicket before Bell guides Rampaul to third-man for a single. Another single for Prior and he’s having a problem with his timing at the moment, the ball getting stuck in the pitch and not coming onto the bat. Bell gets a shocker - Rampaul gets one to jag back off the seam and umpire Jerling gives him out lbw, even though it hit him outside the line of off-stump. Bell, who kicks the turf and has a mutter on his way from the middle, can kiss goodbye to most of his match fee. KP gets a brute first-up, the ball seaming back and chopping him in half. Due some runs, Pietersen…

6th over - WICKET: Cook c Edwards b Powell 19, Eng 23-1
That’s England first wicket down, Cook chipping Powell straight to Edwards at mid-off. Soft. Two leg-byes for England but Bell is off the mark with a steer to backward-point for two.

“Gumbo - even without the T, Shivnarine Chanderpaul is an anagram of ‘I punch Dirs near Van Halen’, which would be intriguing…”
Paul, Notts, in the TMS inbox

5th over - Eng 23-0 Rampaul bowls too full a length and that’s a crackerjack of an on-drive from Cook for four. An email from Gregory Ayre who is unaware what Smurfs are - is that possible? Cook latches onto a short ball and yanks Rampaul away for four.

“Re: Rob in Oslo - that’s not a lady - it’s a squirrel. Nice in trees or with shallots.”
Dave, ‘out of’ Wales, in the TMS inbox

4th over - Eng 12-0 Cook picks up a couple with a tickle off his pads before steering Powell to third-man for a single. Prior fishes and is beaten - Powell looks to have the eye of the tiger today, nice line and length so far and plenty of pace.

“Graham Pilkington (see below) - that is the worst advice ever and bordering on sedition. Men dancing will never be cool and caving into her demands so early sets a precedent he will regret. As for the honeymoon and its promised delights, if they are being withheld as a bargaining tool at this stage, then there is no hope for the poor lad. As Sinatra said - ‘I don’t dance, don’t ask me.”
Steve Mowan in the TMS inbox

3rd over - Eng 7-0 Cook fences outside off-stump and is beaten by Rampaul. A leg-side wide from Rampaul before Cook paddles him round the corner for a single. Just three from the over.

2nd over - Eng 6-0 Prior has a dart and mis-times an attempted pull over mid-off for one. That’s brawn for you. Cook gets one with a push into the covers - alert running from the England batters.

“Regarding what to cook for a vegan, I’ve found you can’t go wrong with couscous. Serve with a spicy, tomato-based vegetable stew, and there is Norway your friend will be disappointed.”
Gareth, Bristol, in the TMS inbox

1st over - Eng 4-0 The highest total batting second at Edgbaston was 280 by Australia in 1978. Rampaul cuts Cook in half with a ball that nips back before getting one to nibble the other way as the Essex man is beaten again. Cook is off the mark, however, with a carve through backward-point for four. Sammy is on for Chanderpaul, who must have that ankle up in the dressing room. A young woman just entered the office and everyone went quiet and started peering at her from behind their screens. Now she knows what Smurfette must have felt like. Shame the Smurfs never thought of the internet, it would have gone down a storm.

“Sorry it’s been a while but I have been very busy, as I will now demonstrate. I don’t suppose Chanderpaul’s middle name is ‘T’? That way my whole morning would be justified with this cracker of an anagram: Shivnarine ‘T’ Chanderpaul = I punch Dirs near the naval.”
Gumbo, Shenfield Cricket Club and Pear drinking Society, in the TMS inbox

1500: West Indies are out on the pitch and huddling and we’ll be off in a couple of minutes…

“Re Rob in Oslo - Some advice for you: she sounds like a hassle - ditch her.”
Chris Bradley in the TMS inbox

“Rob, Oslo (see below), carrot Soup it is then, I hope she’s worth it.”
Valda Moss in the TMS inbox

“The great thing about cricket is that you can go along and talk about anything other than cricket…”
Frank Skinner on TMS

“Dancing lessons are the thinking man’s new ‘cool’. If you do what she wants to make the day special, you get rewarded on the honeymoon. To not do them is either uncool, or just plain stupid.”
Graham Pilkington in the TMS inbox

“Please pose your dancing friend the timeless question asked by Alan Partridge on Radio Norwich: ‘Who is the biggest Lord? Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Dance or Lord of the Flies?’. Your blouse-wearing Michael Dallas online dating advices mate will see the light and stick to a traditional uncoordinated smooch for the first number on his special day.”
Andy, London, in the TMS inbox

“Good afternoon squire! Got a lady coming around for dinner in a couple of hours and am a little stuck on what to cook. Any suggestions? She doesn’t eat meat, fish or dairy products and doesnt like green vegetables….need help and pronto!”
Rob, Oslo, in the TMS inbox

WEST INDIES INNINGS: 278-5

“Once again an opposition has shown us the value of having wickets in hand in ODIs. The Windies have built their innings around Chanderpaul who, although slow to start, has dominated the English attack for the final 14 overs and helped them to a highly competitive total with 102 coming from the last 10. When are we going to see a similar innings from Alistair Cook or Ian Bell? Very soon I hope.”
Gareth in the TMS inbox

50th over - WICKET: Morton c Bell b Sidebottom 3, WI 274-5
Morton is off, tail between his legs after his little spat with Anderson. The right-hander mis-times a drive and Bell snaffles the catch at long-on. Chanderpaul clips to mid-wicket for a single and Ramdin is off the mark with a single. One more Shiv before Ramdin misses with an ugly heave outside off. He does scamper a single from the final ball of the innings and that’s a pretty decent total for the Windies, England may have trouble hunting it down.

“Apparently the Quo’s Rick Parfitt only realised he had performed on the Band Aid single when he saw a video of the making of it some time later. In a roundabout way, he admitted having a lengthy meeting with the ‘white lady’ the previous week and was quite simply not at the races!”
Stephen Brooks in the TMS inbox

49th over - WI 274-4 Morton digs out a yorker from Anderson and gets one for it before Anderson serves up another wide. It’s been a bit of a struggle today for the Lancashire man, and Chanderpaul flogs him over the mid-wicket fence for six. Another four for Shiv, leaning on an Anderson delivery and watching the ball race through wide long-on. Handbags from Anderson and Morton! They brush shoulders in the middle of the track and Morton gets the hump and starts pointing his bat. Anderson, Morton - put your knickers on and go and make me a cup of tea. Several people have emailed in to ask what I do when I’m not doing live ’stuff’. In short, I run this place. I think some of you think I’m some kind of gimp who is awoken five minutes before the start of play, led from my box in the corner of the office, dangled above a keyboard and told, rather aggressively, to write.

Re your mate’s dancing lessons, definitely a chance to take the rise: dancing is not cool in 2007 - or in any other year.”
Laurie, Tonbridge, in the TMS inbox

48th over - WICKET: DW Smith lbw b Broad 7, WI 257-4
Smith is gone, missing a full-bunger from Broad and the umpire deciding it would have made a mess of his stumps. Morton is the new man and he’s off the mark with a flick off his pads.

47th over - WI 256-3 Another four for Shiv, feathering Anderson to the third-man fence. Chanderpaul nicks another single with a nurdle to leg and Dwayne Smith is on strike and he’s off the mark with a tug to mid-wicket for one. And that’s Chanderpaul seventh ODI ton courtesy of another work to mid-wicket. Off comes the lid and up go the arms - this boy is in such a purple streak, he’ll soon start looking Violet Beaure-garde. Smith gives it some humpty, launching the hapless Anderson over the long-on fence.

“Re Mark King on Band Aid, what part would he have sung on? He would have been fine prancing around with the guitarists from Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran, but I reckon he would have looked a bit of a plank singing the Bono bit.”
Luke Jarvis in the TMS inbox

46th over - WICKET: Samuels c Sidebottom b Broad 77, WI 242-3
Fine fielding from Anderson, saving four on the cover boundary. Chanderpaul picks up a couple and another single with a glide to third-man. But Samuels perishes, Broad getting one to rear up at him and Samuels upper-cutting the Leicestershire seamer to Sidebottom at short third-man. That was a fine dig from Samuels.

45th over - WI 238-2 Chanderpaul laces Sidebottom through the covers for four before shellacking the Notts seamer overthe long-off fence. Drizzle at Edgbaston…Shiv reaches for a wide outside off-stump and hits the deck like a granny on roller skates. Four more for Chanderpaul, Anderson just failing to make a spectacular catch at wide long-on. Eighteen more from that over and West Indies are on target for something in the region of 270.

44th over - WI 219-2 Chanderpaul steers Broad through point for one and Samuels nicks one for himself. Limpet Boy should have been out, Chanderpaul skying Broad to mid-off but Collingwood, on the turn, is unable to get his hands to it. That should have been Pietersen’s, not sure why he didn’t call for that. One run for the shot. Samuels picks up a single with a push to mid-off. I found out last week that my mate, who’s getting married later this month, is having dancing lessons for his wedding - should I take the rise out of him, or is this a ‘cool’ thing to do in 2007?

43rd over - WI 214-2 Two for Samuels with a clip off his pads and the right-hander picks up a couple more with an ugly smear, the ball ricocheting off his bottom edge and just missing his sticks. That’s the Windies 200, and Samuels picks up another couple. The Jamaican has really got the bit between his teeth now, carving Anderson over extra-cover for, carving the next ball through backward-point for another, and slapping a third over Anderson’s noggin for a third. Eighteen from that over, Anderson’s bowling figures in tatters.

42nd over - WI 196-2 A single for Samuels with a clip off his pads and Chanderpaul picks up four with a lovely bit of timing through mid-wicket, the ball threading between Sidebottom and Anderson on the boundary. A reverse sweep from Samuels and he picks up three for it. Cheeky, and the tourists look like they going to make a break for it.

“Re Band Aid - Because when certain artists/groups were approached, they didn’t get a very clear picture of what was being asked of them, so they turned the opportunity down, which in hindsight was a bad move. That is why there are some notable stars missing…”
Angie in the TMS inbox

41st over - WI 185-2 Anderson is back into the attack and his first ball is wide and short and is flogged through fine-leg for four. Shiv picks up another single with a paddle round the corner and Samuels bags a couple with a mis-timed drive over cover.

“On the subject of friends’ holes in one, I’m always reminded of that classic song from the terminally-upbeat and positive Morrissey - ‘We hate it when our friends become successful, and if they’re northern, it’s even worse’.”
Steven Davies in the TMS inbox

40th over - WI 176-2 That’s Samuels’ fifty courtesy of a clip to leg and Chanderpaul picks up one for a chip to mid-wicket. Last 10 overs, the Windies will no doubt give it some grunt from here on in.

39th over - WI 173-2 Samuels clips Masar away for a single before Shiv flips Mascar round the corner for one. Three more singles from Dimi’s over, all nudged and nurdled.

“Who, or what is Ben Dirs? I assume that he is there to appeal to some part of your audience. Can we have a ball by ball commentary with facts, rather than childish self-gratification? That is fine for the pre-teens but some of us are more mature.”
Nicholas Russell in the TMS inbox

38th over - WI 168-2 Chanderpaul pats Yardy into the gap at mid-wicket for a single and Sussex spears the ball into Samuels’ legs for the rest of the over, although Samuels does get him away for a single from the final ball.

37th over - WI 166-2 Samuels whips Mascar away for a couple before Limpet Boy nicks a single to third-man. But Samuels finally frees his arms, rat-a-tat-tatting Dimi over wide long-on for a colossal six. That’s messed Mascar’s figures up a bit.

“I remember from my mispent youth watching cricket all day on BBC TV that Jim Laker always used to say ‘batter’, so it’s use has excellent pedigree. I think MJK Smith did the same, and referred to the stumps as ’sticks’.”
Ian, Birmingham, in the TMS inbox

36th over - WI 156-2 Yardy gives it some flight and Chanderpaul dabs him to short third-man for a single and his 48th ODI fifty. One more for the gritty left-hander with a nudge into the covers. A full-bunger from Yardy is pushed to extra-cover for another single and at least the tourists will have plenty of wickets in hand for the big push.

35th over - WI 151-2 A let-off for Chanderpaul, slicing Dimi through backward-point and Bell, diving full-length, just failing to get his fingertips to it. Shiv picks up a single with a steer down to third-man. One thing has been bothering me recently - if Band Aid was effectively an 80’s mega-group, why wasn’t Level 42’s Mark ‘Best Slap Bassist In The World’ King invited along? More Johnny on the Spot stuff from Mascarenhas.

“Up to the 33rd over: You have published 2921 words, 914 of these have been written by someone else, 200 of these have nothing to do with cricket. Step it up Ben!”
Matt Grant in the TMS inbox

34th over - WI 145-2 Samuels tries to fetch Yardy from outside off but misses. Samuels does move to 35 with a nibble to leg and he’s really reining himself in here. Chanderpaul clips one of Yardy’s darts to mid-wicket for a single and there are just three from the over.

1317: Players are back out and there’s a bit of sun at Edgbaston. No overs lost, play will begin in just a moment.

“Is there any other side in world cricket who would leave Monty Panesar out of their one-day line-up?”
Mark Saggers on TMS

1313: The covers are already coming off at Edgbaston so we could have play in 10 minutes or so…

“Regarding your friend’s hole in one, remember the words of Gore Vidal, who said that ‘whenever a friend succeeds something in me dies’. You’re not alone when it comes to the whole mean-spiritedness thing.”
Mark Chipping Sodbury, in the TMS inbox

33rd over - WI 142-2 Mascar is getting a bit of movement away from the right-handed Samuels. Prior appeals for a stumping, the umpire refers, but Samuels has both feet in the crease. No Jaws music at Edgbaston, by the way. Samuels nicks a cheeky single from the final ball, but Mascar is doing a manful job for England here - 0-12 off seven overs. It’s rodding it down in Birmingham and off the players go…

“I was told by Collingwood at Lord’s that Monty is now the first-choice spin bowler in 50-over cricket and he’s promptly left out…”
Jonathan Agnew on TMS

32nd over - WI 141-2 Yardy is now into the attack and Samuels rocks back and guides him through backward-point for a couple. A strangled lbw appeal from Yardy, but the ball was missing Samuels’ leg-stump.

“I used to work with a guy whose mum made his packedd lunch and even peeled his orange and wrapped it in clingfilm for him.”
Tony Iles in the TMS inbox

31st over - WI 129-2 No Yardy, as expected (by me, anyway), and it’s Broad to continue. His first ball is a rank half-tracker and Samuels smears him through backward-point for four. Broad tries some chin music and Samuels yanks him away for another boundary before slapping him to the long-off fence. A bullying for Broad - leave him alone, you swine…

“On your friend’s joy at getting a hole in one, you should have celebrated with him. I made my first hole in one recently and I was particularly pleased as it was quite a tricky hole, having to go over to bumps and through a windmill.”
Sarah, Leeds, in the TMS inbox

30th over - WI 123-2 Mascarenhas drops short and wide and Chanderpaul reaches for it like someone casting a rod. If he’d left that, it would have been a wide. A single for Chanderpaul before Samuels dabs Mascar to third-man for one.

29th over - WI 121-2 Chanderpaul breaks the shackles, chipping Colly over wide long-on for four before larruping him over deep mid-wicker for a maximum. Expensive over from the England skipper, I think we might see Yardy on from that end next.

28th over - WI 109-2 A maiden from Mascarenhas and England’s seamers are really strangling the life out of this Windies innings, they’re going along at the less than three an over for the last 10. The sun is out again at Edgbaston.

27th over - WI 109-2 Colly shells a sharp return catch, Samuels punching him back down the ground and the ball bouncing out of the Durham man’s left hand. West Indies pick up one for the shot. But Samuels has gone, Samuels dragging his back foot out of the crease…no he isn’t, third umpire Neil Mallender reckons his foot may have been down when the bails came off. Probably the correct decision, as it should be, it took him long enough.

“In between innings of the Essex v Sussex game last night I popped out the pub for a quick puff, smoking on the streets of London like a tramp, when some guy comes up to me, gives me a pound and tells me to get some chips! I wouldn’t mind, but they are 1.20 round here.”
Jay, London, in the TMS inbox

26th over - WI 106-2 Sharp single from Samuels and Chanderpaul won’t thank him for that, that gave his troublesome ankle a bit of a tweak. Shiv limping markedly now, more so after running up another one.

“I’ve just nearly choked on my cheese and coleslaw barms that my mum lovingly made for me at 6.15 this morning, as she does every day. At 25, you’re just a young pup - I’m 39! Am I the oldest saddest guy of this type?”
Gary Rimmer, Formby, in the TMS inbox

25th over - WI 104-2 A decent leg before shout from Colly, but umpire Jerling looks at the England skipper as if he’s just vomited on his shoes on the Tube. The replays suggest that was hitting leg-stump. Collingwood gets one past Chanderpaul’s grope before Shiv whips him away for four. The West Indies batters finding a bit of fluency.

“I wonder if Michael Yardy might come into the attack soon and if England are regretting not playing a certain Monty Panesar…”
Ashley Giles on TMS

24th over - WI 100-2 Five dot balls from Mascarenhas, but Chanderpaul brings up the Windies ton with a flick off his pads. On a couple of wickets down, they could still make 250 here.

“To the uncouth lady (Lucy) who seemed so aggrieved that someone could dare call batsmen ‘batters’, I would like to suggest that she invests in a good book on grammar. ‘To bat’ is a verb. Someone who ‘bats’ would therefore be a ‘batter’. Sure, it’s not the generally used term in cricket but it certainly isn’t incorrect.”
Derek, Birmingham, in the TMS inbox

23rd over - WI 99-2 Samuels scampers a quick single before Chanderpaul moves to 19 with a flick off his pads. The crowd filling out now - many had been delayed by the security checks.

22nd over - WI 95-2 My diminutive Welsh colleague, who sounds like Max Boyce, is doing his impersonation of Dirty Harry. It’s brilliant. Mascarenhas is turned away for a single by Chanderpaul and Samuels works the Hampshire man for one of his own. Two more singles apiece and we’re into those ‘absorbing’ middle overs again…

“Yes Ben, I believe you should have been more magnanimous. It was clearly a golfing high point for your friend which he wanted to share with you. To be fair to him, it is always hilarious when someone shanks it off the first tee.”
Matt Conti in the TMS inbox

21st over - WI 91-2 Collingwood brings himself on and Chanderpaul turns him round the corner for one. Samuels picks up the first four for a while with a mis-cued drive through wide long-on. Samuels waits on a Colly slower ball and dabs him to leg for one as the rain sweeps across the ground. One more single for Chanderpaul with a tickle to backward-square and the umpires have opted to stay on - big up to them. Really not sure why everyone is getting their grids in a twist about my use of the word “batters”. Why do people get so precious about cricketing terminology? THEY ARE JUST WORDS!!!

“I had a hole in one once, on the ninth of my local course. It ranks among the worst shots I have ever hit, a shank off a couple of trees, a pathway and only stopped from the finding the heavy rough behind the green by striking the flag dead on and dropping in! However, I did not get out my phone and start texting everyone in my phone book. That sort of gloating has no place in a gentleman’s game such as golf.”
Duncan, Scotland, in the TMS inbox

20th over - WI 84-2 Mascarenhas is into the attack and Samuels clips him to mid-on. Chanderpaul moves to 13 with a thickish outside-edge for one. Samuels nicks the strike with a single and it’s pretty much all nudge and nurdle at the moment - just eight runs from the final powerplay.

“I’ve just moved back in with my parents after breaking up with my girlfriend, and my mum makes me sandwiches for work every day. I’m 25 - is there anyone older whose mum does this for them?”
Paul Mason quantity surveyor, in the TMS inbox

19th over - WI 82-2 Chanderpaul tries to cut Sidebottom, but it was too close to him. It’s all a bit of a struggle now for the tourists after a bright start - England’s seamers really turning the screw as a bit of sun pokes through the clouds in Birmingham.

“TELL THE SMACKHEAD THAT THE MEN WHO BAT ARE CALLED ‘BATSMEN’.”
Lucy in the TMS inbox

18th over - WI 82-2 Broad gets one past Chanderpaul’s outside edge - an appeal, but Chanderpaul flicked his pad with his bat. Shiv clips Broad off his hip to move to 12.

“Don’t you think young Broad looks just like that poor boy who got through to the last few in X-Factor last year who was so nervous he just couldn’t stop crying? His mum had to keep cuddling him. Broad looks like he would kill his mum if she tried to cuddle him in public.”
Carole, Maidenhead, in the TMS inbox

17th over - WI 81-2 Chanderpaul has called for the physio and he’s getting his right ankle strapped - he’s had a problem with that all tour. Samuels clips Sidebottom away for one, Mascarenhas fielding and sending in a fizzing throw. Mascarenhas looks like the sort of bloke who’d laugh if you shanked the ball off the first tee. A friend of mine texted last week to say he’d just got a hole in one, but because he’s the sort of bloke who laughs when you shank the ball off the first tee, I didn’t text back. To be honest, the news was like a dagger through the heart. Should I have been more magnanimous?

“I’ve shared a bottle of Champagne with Ben in a rather dubious ‘club’ whilst on holiday in Copenhagen - I can confirm it wasn’t an 18-30 break, I can also confirm we didn’t quite get what we’d bargained for, and the Champers wasn’t all being drunk out of the usual recepticles…aaaah, the memories…”
Gary Keenan in the TMS inbox

16th over - WI 79-2 Bit of hesitancy from the Windies batters, but Samuels just makes his ground. Good grief, Broad is a fresh-faced blighter, it makes me feel positively decrepit just looking at him. He finds the edge of Samuels’ bat and the batsman runs one. That’s drinks.

15th over - WI 76-2 Samuels is finally off the mark with a run down to third-man for one before Chanderpaul edges Sidebottom past the diving Prior for four. Sidebottom getting the ball to nibble about a bit now, and Colly calls the third powerplay.

14th over - WI 70-2 Chanderpaul picks up a couple with a clip off his legs before nicking the strike with a single from the final ball.

“Are you holidaying this year Ben, we have you down as an Club 18-30 Faliraki kinda guy…”
Ste Pritchard, Chester, in the TMS inbox

13th over - WICKET: Gayle c Anderson b Sidebottom 36, WI 67-2
Gayle moves to 36 with a nonchalant six over wide long-on, but the big man’s gone next ball, chipping Sidebottom straight to Anderson at mid-on. Gayle has been in pretty rancid nick all summer to be honest. Sidebottom fires one across Samuels’ bows and the right-handed batsman almost has a nibble. Big lbw shout, but umpire Jerling says it was missing off-stump.

“What’s wrong with a bit of Cockney slang? I understand that you’ve got a few Mockneys out there but I’m a West Londoner and love to use a bit of the ol’ rhyming slang just for the sheer hilarity of it. If you can’t use it for a bit of fun coming from Hertfordshire then how do BBC commentators get away with sounding like they are all fake Southerners forced through elocution lessons with any of sign of their regional accents having been beaten out of them?”
Zak in the TMS inbox

12th over - WI 61-1 Chanderpaul is off the mark with a drop into the leg-side and Gayle plays a similar stroke for a single of his own. A bit brighter in Birmingham now and things have got a bit more sedate on the pitch since Smith’s departure.

11th over - WI 58-1 Gayle very nearly plays on, the ball ricocheting off his bottom edge but just missing his timbers. Just two leg-byes from Anderson’s over.

10th over - WI 56-1 Your emails are flooding in, so apologies if your one doesn’t get posted. Not sure if you’ve seen an inbox moving before, but it’s actually a bit sinister. That said, I don’t think James Herbert will be basing his next book on it. Lovely stroke from Gayle, easing Broad through cover for four. Gayle bags another single with a deflection to backward-square. A sweet-looking drive from Chanderpaul, but Collingwood saves well in the covers - Shiv still on a duck.

“The crash really caused a lengthy jam. The police had to lay out scones for a diversion.”
Mat, South Coast, in the TMS inbox

9th over - WICKET: De Smith c Prior b Anderson 17, WI 50-1
Anderson makes the breakthrough, Smith not moving his feet, flailing outside off-stump and Prior snaffling the thinnest of edges. Here comes Limpet Boy - he’s been moved up to number three. Shiv survives the over and that’s a wicket-maiden from the Lancashire seamer.

8th over - WI 50-0 Sidebottom has been given the elbow and Broad is going to have a go. The Leicestershire paceman makes something happen immediately, getting the ball to nibble away from Gayle and just miss his off-peg. Another blacksmith’s swipe from Gayle, which he misses with, but he puts manners on the next delivery, the ball landing over 10 rows back over the long-on boundary. A new ball is picked out - the last one’s gone off for a little cry - and it works for Broad, the youngster getting the final ball to seam away from Gayle and catch the edge of his bat. Two runs. I see Alan Johnston is a free man, and the British government have caught the mastermind of the recent attempted bombings - a Dr Terror, according to the Evening Standard. What is that, an Iranian name?

“Re the nasty crash that Ian Rawlings saw - I bet the brakes were spongy!”
Graham Hirst in the TMS inbox

7th over - WI 41-0 Gayle tucks Anderson down to fine-leg for a couple and repeats the stroke for two more. Confident lbw shout from Anderson against Gayle, but it pitched outside leg-stump. Anderson drops short and wide and Gayle marmalises him through point for four. The Windies are cantering along, scoring at almost a run a ball.

“To Ian Rawlings (see below) - That sounds pretty traumatic stuff. Did the candyfloss bags not go off?”
Drew Campbell in the TMS inbox

6th over - WI 32-0 Mis-field from Pietersen in the covers and Gayle picks up a single. Smith looks in good nick, and he picks up his second four of the day with a crackerjack cover-drive. Another single for Smith with a guide to third-man and this is a good start from the tourists in difficult conditions. Better from Sidebottom, finding Smith’s edge, but the ball falls short of the slip cordon.

5th over - WI 23-0 It’s raining at Edgbaston - or ‘mizzling’, as Aggers likes to say. Have that, Anderson - Gayle scythes him over extra-cover for a maximum. Revenge for Anderson, a ball striking Gayle just above the right knee. We have a contest.

“Surely playing Sidebottom is utter suicide on a rain-threatened day like this with his hair like that. I once saw a sheep go down like a depth charge when it fell in a canal in Rye, such was the rapid water soakage.”
Mark Thomas in the TMS inbox

4th over - WI 17-0 Agricultural from Gayle, missing with another airy swipe outside off-stump, and he repeats the stroke. Gayle looks like a walking wicket at the moment, Douglas Bader had more footwork.

“I am finally glad to be in work after seeing a very bad car crash this morning. It was one of those new Skodas, it looked horrible, there was cake everywhere…”
Ian Rawlings in the TMS inbox

3rd over - WI 16-0 Smith picks up a single to backward-point. Ugly from Gayle, hoicking Anderson to mid-wicket for a single, and Smith collects a couple with a tickle to fine-lg. Smith follows up with the first boundary of the day, a four laced through wide long-off. Anderson hits back well, getting the ball to cut across Smith and beat his outside edge.

“My advice to you John (see 1045) would be to give him a punch in his ‘boat race’ and see if you can knock out any of his ‘Hampstead Heath’.”
Pete in the TMS inbox

2nd over - WI 9-0 Sidebottom serves up five wides, the Notts man firing a ball miles down leg-side, and Smith picks up the first run from the at with a push to mid-on. Sidbottom locates Gayle’s outside edge, but the ball runs away for one. Smith has wild and windy woosh outside off-stump, feet nailed to the crease, and misses. He does picks up one with a push to point.

1st over - WI 0-0 Anderson has first bung and he’s getting a bit of shape away from the left-handed Gayle. The sky is looking ominous and the groundstaff begin to gather beyond the boundary rope. A fine first over from Jimmy, the final ball of the over cutting back and almost pegging back Gayle’s off-stump. To John (see below) - my personal view is that if you’re from East London, you can Cockney rhyme all you like. If you’re from Essex, working class or of working-class parentage, the odd word is permissable. If you’re anything else, using rhyming slang is, as my father would say, a ‘mug’stroke’. I went to leave my mum and dad’s over Christmas, and my father, who, as they say in those parts, is ‘out of’ Stepney, grabbed me and shouted in my face: “It’s @*&$? freezing outside, stick a @*&$? centre round your Gregory!” Donny Dirs - a @*&$? legend. By the way, your mate’s an idiot.

“Dear Benjamin, A friend keeps on peppering his sentences with Cockney rhyming slang. He’s from Hertfordshire and went to public school - is he an idiot?”
John in the TMS inbox

1044: Here come England and there’s the huddle. Yardy’s having a little chuckle, and Plunkers, who’s been dropped, hovers on the edge, like the mate who no-one else really likes but gets invited along to everything anyway. Gayle and Devon Smith are in the middle and we’re almost off…

1042: We currently have no rain at Edgbaston, although showers are forecast throughout the day. Messrs Duckworth and Lewis are almost certain to be called into action at some stage…

“Why drop Panesar, sacrifice an excellent bowler who can bat a bit, for an average batsman and average bowler?”
Huw Lloyd in the TMS inbox

1038: All right? The news this morning is that Paul Collingwood has won the toss and decided to have a bowl. Monty Panesar and Liam Plunkett have been dropped and replaced with Michael Yardy and Ryan Sidebottom. West Indies are unchanged, although Shiv Chanderpaul has been bumped up the order.

West Indies: Chris Gayle (capt), Devon Smith, Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Marlon Samuels, Runako Morton, Dwayne Bravo, Denesh Ramdin (wk), Dwayne Smith, Daren Powell, Ravi Rampaul, Fidel Edwards

England: Cook, Prior, Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood (capt), Shah, Mascarenhas, Broad, Sidebottom, Anderson, Yardy.

Originaly from: Sport - 2nd ODI - Eng v WI as it happened page